When looking for the second half, most of us are generated list of criteria and characteristics that we expect from other people. Such lists examples of pages full of online dating: "Sense of humor, sense of adventure, good teeth," - said one. "A man who has his own business, who loves to travel and gym rat," - say each other. However, no matter how strange, often many of our partners do not, and sometimes none of our desired properties. Why is this happening?
One of the reasons is that the partners madame glamour are never "to order" and, inevitably, we are forced to make compromises if you want to be alone. On the other hand, many of the decisions that people make choices second sides, much surprising if we bear in mind the previously declared madame glamour criteria. This is similar to the situation when the man went into the store, prepare a list of shopping, but throws it into the country.
In fact, it is most often occurs. Like everywhere else in life, our conscious mind plays a minor role, and first played the violin unconscious desires. In other words, we may e to imagine that we know what we want from a partner, but the features that really attracted us, that the real reasons why we choose the way we choose, often quite different from what you maintain yourself.
If not quite, at least it's different properties, madame glamour of which we think relative importance. Let us recall the minute stereotypes: perhaps a woman so spectacular natural beauty that we completely ignore the fact that she did not finish high school, although we looked professional. Or a man so rich that we ignore the fact that he drinks too much.
The problem, of course, is that our subconscious often equally unsuccessful madame glamour in choosing its partners as well as our conscious mind. Are you sure you craving adventure should overshadow the sincerity? Or more the excellent hygiene habits, rather than fashion sense? Or to give priority to the shared values or common interest? When choosing friends, faces serious considerations, and even more difficult to decide not only because there is no correct answer, but no one can guarantee that the correct or perfect solution, which we take today will be suitable or great tomorrow. People over time, often unpredictably changing.
Here I would like to point out that there is one variable with almost none of our neapsivarstome and against which all other variables become almost worthless - what makes us human person who chooses?
Social interaction in the field of self-fulfilling prophecy theory is that other people's behavior, which we hope to replace our own behavior so that other people can actually fulfill our expectations. This phenomenon has been demonstrated scientist Mark Snyder and his colleagues study. Mark Snyder and his colleagues asked randomly madame glamour divided fifty per student to look at one of eight pictures, which were taken undergraduate students (four of them before the other men were rated as attractive, the remaining four - how unattractive) and made its first impression. Thus, it was to confirm the previous results, which showed that men expect that attractive women are warmer than unattractive. After that, the researchers asked the men to talk on the phone (that would not be able to see with whom the guests) with women whose pictures had seen before.
Although the men did not know, the women with whom they spoke on the phone, was not the woman who was previously seen in photographs. When we were blindfolded madame glamour observers evaluated the call recording, they concluded that the men, who spoke with a woman who considered it an attractive (and therefore believed that they will be warm), interacted with them warmer than men, talking with a woman who thought it unattractive (They believe that this will be warm). This was confirmed by the idea that the expectations raised by men to women affected by their own behavior. Even more interesting is the fact that a woman considered attractive by men, blindfolded observers also rated as attractive. Thus, the expectations raised by men for women, men had an impact on the treatment of women, which in turn led to the way women behaved with men.
In addition, one study has shown that when we try to modify their behavior according to the expectations of the other person, we tend to absorb those expectations, so there is a good chance madame glamour that we do in the future. What's more - we tend to relate their subsequent behavior than with the expectation that we were before other people, but with our own character, especially if a lot of different people in different contexts confirms our understanding madame glamour of ourselves. In other words, madame glamour if our parents, teachers, friends treat us as a helpless, madame glamour and we believe that we are helpless and probably will be.
As a whole is able to customize the search for the second half? Brad Pitt about his divorce with Jennifer Aniston said: "M
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